My Dad

Biochemists can be cowboys,
beakers don't encompass everything.

A 12-gauge curiosity of his
quickly turned into an NRA membership,
and now the 1st Sunday
of every month is:

"Cow Boy Shooting Day,"
down at the local range.

Yeehaw.

Taking Yourself Too Seriously

Taking yourself too seriously occurs:

When you're dropped
into an ocean of sharks
and you're forced to "commingle."

When, while sitting amongst
your mother's knitting club,
you feel the need to offer
a member advice on
coping with her hepatitis.

When there is nothing on T.V.
so you prepare your
last will and testament.

When there is nothing on T.V.
the last thing you should do
is take yourself too seriously.

Dildo In The Middle Of The Road

I found a dildo in the middle of the road,
how'd it get there?

A dildo, just a sittin' in the road,
how'd it get there?

Just a dildo in the road,
a purple chode just a sittin' in the road,
I found a purple dildo,
in the middle,
of the road.

How'd it get there?

What a story, this old dick,
and who the hell would believe it?
Look at the neighbors, they all look sick,
and they all want me to retrieve it?

Well "okay" I say, I'll get this dong,
I'll do what I am told,
because I'd be remiss
and my neighbors pissed
over just a little dildo in the road.

Prioritize Your Priorities

I had a dream my car careened off a cliff the other night.
It was so life like that I remember being able
to feel my weightlessness as the car fell with me inside it,
and the intense sensation of dread looming over me as I plummeted to my certain death.

What made it seem even more real was that it in the dream,
after my car landed and I emerged unscathed,
I realized my portable gaming device was destroyed
and I dropped to my knees screaming, "NOOOO!"

The Journey Is Free Parking

The journeys that we take,
the voyages,
the expiditions
big and small,
are what make up
the sum to that
unsolvable math problem:
exsistance with a purpose.

They're the
quotient of all worthy undertakings,
They are the hardship you weather
striving toward something... cool.
They're the transatlantic trip lined with the hopes
of finding freedom.
The journey is more-or-less the test of your quest,
the quest test,
the proof of the pudding,
the examination, the proclamation,
the journey asks you:
"Are you ready to reach the Iowa Spoon Museum, home of the largest spoon?"
"Are you ready for what you're about to see?"
"Tell me this, young mortal!!!"

I mean, I took a trip to Six Flags New England,
for quintessential American fun,
just to turn around in the end and
head for home.
 
It was an easy choice to abandon our destination
in lieu of more traveling, because
the our voyage had free pizza,
and we took the scenic route home.

So the next time you plan a
journey my suggestion would be this:
just journey for the sake of a journey,
and never pay for parking,
especially at Six Flags New England.